No Cure, Not Ever

If charity begins at home, then so does everything else- bias, stereotyping.

I am not advocating women rights here. Even though this might turn out be another feminist article but that is not exactly what I mean to put across. Because I feel I’m not qualified to do so.

For the 19 years that I have lived, I have seen my mother follow the same routine like a ritual. From 5 in the morning to 10 in the night, she took care of our food, our sleep, our homework, our studies, us. One might frown and say that hey look, my mother does the same. I agree. All mothers follow more or less the same routine with the same objective of taking care of the family. But what happens when they decide to change their lifestyles and live for themselves?

Picture this: a woman, who has worked for more than a decade, is suddenly forced to leave her job one day, moves to a different city where she has no social life and her only companion is the idiot box. How does her family treat her now? Now that she is not working, she has nothing to do all day. The children come home and pester her as to why doesn’t she make tasty lunch. “Mom, you’re free all day!” The husband comes home to find faults in random things. “What have you been doing all day?!” Well, the tiffins were ready, the water for bathing was warm enough, the lunch was served hot, there were snacks for the evening and dinner would’ve been ready in sometime. So, what was she doing all day? Nothing, yet everything.

Why is it that we can’t tolerate a woman sitting in front of the television, enjoying herself, without worrying about what chore she has to do next? Does she always have to be doing something to show that she does something? If she has a maid cooking for her, everyone will grant her even more free and then if she assigns any work to any other member of the family, there is wave of reaction. “You are not doing anything! Why don’t you do this yourself?” If she’s going to shop for herself, then the family has an objection. “Why herself? She should buy me something first!” If she’s looking for clothes for herself and needs assistance, everyone shakes their heads and moves on but if she does the same, then she’s selfish. In any case, there’s no respite for her because she is a woman. One tiny mistake in taking care of something trivial is a cause for havoc in the house. I have seen this scenario and unfortunately, have been a part of it. All of us, who study, advocate and fight for feminism, who live in 21st Century boasting in social gatherings of how our women have become independent, somewhere or the other are a part of what we are fighting against.

We can have a 2^nd Wave of Feminism and maybe a 20^th Wave many years down the line, what’s deep rooted cannot go out with education, awareness, protests- nothing. It’s hereditary, genetic, and even epidemic. While real diseases maybe cured, this one can never be.