Cross dresser. When I asked a few
people what came to their mind when they hear this word, loud makeup, attention
seeker, cheap accessories, fantasy, dual identity, gay were the predominant
emotions. In fact, a lot of people believe that cross dressing is a feature of
homosexual people in particular. If he’s a cross dresser, he’s gay. So is this
all their lives are about? Would no one bother to know what really goes on in
their lives? Is that all the recognition they deserve?
The answer is no- to all questions.
Cross dressers have a life- a great life at times- beyond their clothes. And,
as a matter of fact, cross dressers are not gay. They have wives and children
like any other normally dressing man. Says Mattie, author of the blog ‘The Girl
Inside’ “Less than 10% of cross dressers consider themselves as bisexual or
homosexual. The stereotype that cross dressers must be gay, comes from the
false assumption that femininity exists to serve masculinity...the vast
majority of the time women dress is to look nice for themselves, to feel better
about themselves, or to impress each other. Cross dressers are the same; they
dress up because it feels nice, not necessarily to attract the attention of
men.” We don’t make an effort to know the reality. For many of us, they are a
laughing stock while others condemn it as ‘kalyug’ and the rest don’t care.
Cross dressing has been written about
and recorded in history. There are instances in Greek, Norse and Hindu
mythology while literature, folklore, theatre and music contain a rich history
of it. In Hindu Mythology, in Mahabharata, Arjuna crossdressed as Brihannala
and became a dance teacher during his term of exile. In Greek Mythology, in
punishment for his murder of Iphitus, Heracles/Hercules was given to Omphale as
a slave. Many variants of this story say that she not only compelled him to do
women's work, but compelled him to dress as a woman whiles her slave.
Cross dressing is not just a male
attribute. History has a record of females dressed as fully fledged males. In
Norse Mythology, when Hervor (from Hervarar saga) learnt that her father had
been the infamous Swedish berserker Angantyr, she dressed as a man, called
herself Hjörvard and lived for a long time as a Viking. George Sand is the
pseudonym of Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin, an early 19th century French
novelist who preferred to wear men's clothing exclusively. In her
autobiography, she explains in length the various aspects of how she
experienced cross-dressing. Dorothy Lawrence was an English war reporter who
disguised herself as a man so she could become a soldier in World War I.
Unfortunately, a female dressing as a
male has become more or less a fashion statement with entire fashion ranges
modeled on the basic structure of male clothes, while males dressing as females
are either entertainers or a topic of mockery. A cross dresser has actually
started a blog to ‘out’ himself as a cross dresser. He has a wife and child but
they don’t know it yet. He thinks doing so through a blog is going to make his
wife trust him. But no, that might not happen because she was lied to. That
lying comes from the fear of not being accepted. That is how bad the situation is.
And everyone’s shouting and advocating feminism.
Another site, in fact a lot of sites,
busts various myths about cross dressing. One is surprised to find that our
stereotyped thinking is actually wrong. What surprised me was what all could people think! Cross
dressing is not only regarded as a feature of homosexuality, myth says it is
also a mental disease which cannot be cured! Things like ‘it is a sin’; ‘if my
children come in front of one, they too will become so’ are also on the list. A
friend quips, “What opinion on cross dressers? I like gaming, you like
BlackBerry, someone likes chocolate, some like sports! It’s a lifestyle choice.
In fact, why name them at all? Why call them cross dressers? They are people,
like any one of us. We should all just get a life and let them live their own!”
A lot of people believe that cross
dressing in males comes from the feeling of being an underachiever and they do
it to attract attention to themselves. Mattie says, “Nothing could be further
from the truth!” About himself he says, “In my case throughout college I was
near the top of my class. I was a DJ on a radio station that covered most of a
major metropolitan area, served as president of both my high school and college
class – and was in the honors society of my area of study. I’ve since attained
a Masters degree in my field and again graduated near the top of my class.”
The society has assigned clothes to a
specific gender; clothes haven’t been made like that. No body’s making fun of
femininity by dressing up like a woman- except comedians who intend it to be a
part of their act. It is a beautiful act, not at the materialistic level but at
an emotional level. All that the cross dressers are trying to do is expressing
their love for femininity. That doesn’t make them retards or sinners. This
attitude leads to severe depression among them which might be dangerous to the
people around them or fatal to themselves.
Cross dressing is more than just
fashion and loud makeup. If one does it, it is to make one feel good about
oneself. Cross dressing is as legal and as much a fundamental right as is right
to life and personal liberty. Accept them, include them and let them live like
any other person.
nice .. good that u started blogging .. and u have ur first follower too .. :) ... consider writing on more .. well .. common topics ..
ReplyDeletebut the article was very well written .. liked it :)